The development of social media has undoubtedly given us much. Yet alongside new opportunities, it has also fuelled anxiety – a constant sense of falling behind, doing something wrong, and having “worse” lives as we endlessly compare ourselves to others. Increasingly, younger generations are asking fundamental questions such as: Who am I, and what do I truly want from life? For many, this search becomes a source of stress and inner confusion.
It is with these questions that people turn to transformative coach Leyla Novruz. Today, we spoke with Leyla about modern anxiety, self-identity, and what truly lies behind the concept of coaching.
How do you personally define “transformative coaching”?
Let me first define what Transformation is.
Transformation happens when a person moves from autopilot to awareness, when they stop living according to expectations, fear, or old definitions of success, and starts making conscious choices aligned with who they really want to be today.
It shifts identity, perspective, and inner permission. The permission to choose differently, without waiting for approval or perfect certainty.
I see every day how people try to fix themselves and push themselves to perform better in the same life they are already unhappy with.
So, Transformative Coaching is about helping people clearly understand where they are today and being very honest with themselves (brutally honest!) about it and then understanding where they want to be. From there, the work is about equipping them with the right skills, tools, and practices to move in that direction consciously and sustainably.
Many of your clients feel stuck in jobs that no longer fulfil them. What are the most common signs that someone has outgrown their current career?
The most common sign is emotional disconnection. It is when people tell me: “I’m doing well ‘on paper’, but I feel empty.”
They wake up already tired, feel irritated by small things at work, and notice their curiosity slowly disappearing. Sundays become heavy, not because Monday is difficult, but because they already know how the week will feel.
Often, they are still performing well, still being seen as “successful”, but yet inside, something feels switched off. They no longer feel alive in what they do.
Their work no longer reflects who they are, what they value, or how much they have grown.
You can compare it to wearing old clothes. It still fits, but no longer feels comfortable, and because of that, you feel outdated and awkward.
What role do fear and self-doubt play in keeping people stuck — especially in jobs they dislike but feel safe in?
Fear and self-doubt are very real and extremely powerful, especially for high-functioning, responsible adults. These feelings stem from worry to leave something that feels predictable, respectable, and socially approved.
Self-doubt is constant and quiet. It whispers: “Who are you to want more?”, “You don’t deserve more”, “Be grateful to what you have”, “Others would be happy to be in your place”, etc. It makes you feel guilty about disliking your job. And you stay out of false sense of duty and not because you like what you do.
And then Fear joins in: “What if you lose everything: your income, your status, your stability, the version of yourself others recognize?”
Together, fear and self-doubt create a comfortable prison. Not dramatic enough to leave, but painful enough to slowly drain energy, joy, and self-trust. And if you don’t take an action year after year, you no longer remember what you once wanted.
You work with people who want to improve themselves as individuals, not just professionally. Why do you believe personal growth and career satisfaction are so closely connected?
I don’t believe people can be deeply unhappy at work and then, upon coming home, suddenly feel fine.
We don’t leave ourselves at the office door. We bring our dissatisfaction, frustration, and unfulfilled needs home, into our relationships with our partners, children, and friends, and into our everyday interactions. Over time, work unhappiness starts shaping personal life as well.
This is why many people want and need to work on themselves as whole human beings.
It also works the other way around. When people feel generally fulfilled, grounded, and satisfied with their lives, they bring their whole, calm, and confident selves to work. But when someone is unhappy with their life, lifestyle, or inner state, irritation and tension inevitably surface at work as well. Often, this affects colleagues and the environment around them.
Personal growth and career satisfaction are not separate paths. They constantly influence each other, whether we acknowledge it or not.
A lack of time for personal life is a major issue today. In your experience, is this really a time issue — or something more profound?
A lack of time is almost always there. In the dynamics of the modern world, it is unrealistic to expect a moment when we suddenly have “extra time” on our hands. The real question is not whether we have time, but how consciously we choose to spend our time and energy.
In most cases, the issue is not time itself. It is more about ordering your priorities and setting boundaries. Many people are very busy, but not intentional about their time. They move through their days without pausing to ask where they want to invest their energy. Rest becomes difficult because they believe it must be earned, joy must be postponed, and life will start after the next milestone. As a result, they stay in constant motion but rarely feel fulfilled.
Time is rarely the real problem. The real problem is living disconnected from what truly matters. We always find time for what is important to us. And to be honest, I believe that lack of time is a convenient excuse.
This is why one of my most in-demand coaching themes is “Organizing life and time”. At its core, it is not about doing more, but about creating a structure that sets you free.
People often say, “I don’t know what I want to do in life.” Why do so many adults feel this way?
For many years, people have been busy doing what is expected of them. They make practical, responsible, and logical choices, often shaped by family expectations, social norms, and ideas of what is considered prestigious or financially safe, without ever being asked what they truly want. Many parents, with the best intentions, try to guide young people toward “secure” careers, even when those paths are not aligned with their natural interests, talents, or personality. As a result, people study subjects they are not curious about, enter professions they don’t enjoy, and build lives that look right from the outside but feel empty on the inside. Over time, this self-neglect becomes confusion. People know they are unhappy, but they no longer trust their ability to choose differently. Often, clients tell me, “I don’t know what to do with my life because I don’t like what I do, but this is the only thing I know how to do.” They are aware they have other skills and talents but feel lost about where to start and how to use them.
The good news is that clarity is not lost forever. It can be rebuilt, step by step, once people give themselves permission to question old choices and explore new possibilities.
What inner patterns or beliefs most often block people from building a life they actually enjoy?
It all starts with the inner critic's voice. That inner voice can be loud or quiet, harsh or subtle, but it is persistent. It comments on every desire, questions every idea, and challenges every opportunity. Many people have never learned how to recognize it, challenge it, or reframe it.
This inner critic feeds what are often called limiting or dysfunctional beliefs: thoughts about yourself that feel true, even when they are not. Over time, these beliefs increase anxiety, low self-esteem, and result in procrastination. The inner critic tells us: “It’s too late,” “Any real change requires a dramatic risk,” “Wanting more is selfish,” or “Enjoying your work is unrealistic.” Perhaps the most damaging is when it convinces us that: “This is just how life is.”
Once people accept this belief, curiosity shuts down and possibilities disappear. But the moment people learn to silence the inner critic's voice rather than obey it, something shifts. Even if they don’t suddenly become fearless, they become freer. And from that place, new choices become possible.
Can you share an example of a transformation that particularly moved you or changed your own perspective as a coach?
There are quite a few! It's difficult to choose one, but I’ll try! A client reached out after returning to work from maternity leave with her second child. She genuinely loved her work before she left and had been steadily building her career. In fact, the moment she went on maternity leave coincided with what could have been the right time for her next promotion.
During her leave, a different narrative slowly took over. Her husband and parents, with good intentions, started suggesting that, now that she had two children, she should step down professionally and choose something “less intense.” She accepted this idea and asked to be transferred to a less demanding role. On the surface, it looked like a reasonable decision. Inside, it made her miserable.
What made this particularly painful was that she convinced herself that it was a ‘sin’ to think like that. She was afraid that admitting she missed her old job would make her look selfish and a bad mother. She felt guilty for wanting a career she loved, and even more guilty for being unhappy without it.
She reached out to me after reading a post I wrote on LinkedIn about the idea that there is no such thing as work–life balance, that different phases of life require different priorities, and that choosing one doesn’t mean abandoning the other forever. Her initial expectation from coaching was that it would help her to accept that her ambition was no longer part of her life.
As we worked together, something became clear: she didn’t need acceptance. She needed permission. Through reflection and honest conversations, she realized she could love her children deeply and still want a meaningful, challenging career. One didn’t cancel the other.
We worked on overcoming fears and on developing self-esteem and confidence, and she spoke openly with her husband. She was surprised by how understanding he was. She talked to her parents, who eventually recognized that her desire to build a career wasn’t about money, as they had believed, but about fulfilment. She reorganized her life, hired help, and had an honest conversation with her manager. She was afraid of rejection but received support instead.
She returned to her previous role, grew professionally, and got promoted within a short time. She later told me she felt happier at home, more present with her children, and more herself. Not despite her work, but because of it.
The reason why this case impacted my perspective as a coach is that it reinforced my belief that transformation is not about choosing the “right” role in life, but about giving yourself permission to live in alignment. When people stop betraying themselves, they become more whole.
How do you help clients reconnect with motivation when they feel emotionally exhausted or disconnected from themselves?
In most cases, the lack of motivation and feeling of being disconnected from yourself comes from inaction or from actions that are no longer aligned with your goals. This is why I don’t start by trying to “motivate” my clients. I start by helping them reconnect with what they truly want, and then identify one very small, specific step they can take toward it. Not a big decision. Not a life change. Just the next step.
I remember a client who loved yoga. It helped her stay physically strong despite a bad back, and it supported her emotionally as well. After starting a demanding new job, she stopped attending her classes. By the time she finished work, she was exhausted and went straight home. Over time, this affected her physically, emotionally, and even her self-esteem. She kept promising herself she would start again “tomorrow,” and each broken promise slowly drained her motivation in other areas of her life as well.
Instead of focusing on the abstract and “scary” idea of “going to yoga after a long workday,” we focused on the very first step: enrolling in a studio, making the payment, choosing a specific class, and preparing her bag in advance. That first step was the hardest, but once it was done, everything else became easier.
The moment people start moving, something shifts internally. Action triggers a natural response in the brain that creates energy, focus, and motivation. One small step sets off a domino effect: confidence builds, resistance decreases, and momentum grows. I strongly believe that motivation comes from action, not the other way around. Once action begins, motivation follows naturally, as a response to movement, clarity, and renewed self-trust.
In a world that constantly pushes productivity, how can people learn to slow down without feeling like they are failing?
One thing is certain about modern life: we are constantly rushing! We rush to get information, to eat, to respond, to move on to the next thing. And what rushing really adds to our lives is not productivity, but stress and anxiety.
When we rush, we live in a state of resistance. We are rarely present. We are already in the next moment, the next task, the next goal. Slowing down feels uncomfortable because it challenges a deeply rooted belief: that being busy means being productive.
Learning to slow down begins with redefining success internally, not socially. It means understanding that rest, reflection, and presence are not signs of weakness or failure. They are strategic. When people start seeing slowing down as recalibration rather than falling behind, the guilt begins to fade.
Rushing keeps life on the surface. Slowing down allows depth. When people stop rushing, they enjoy life more, worry less, connect more deeply with others, and make fewer mistakes because their attention is no longer scattered. A meaningful life cannot be built in permanent urgency. Life is a process.
Slowing down is about doing fewer things with more intention. Work is better when focused, and life is better when savored!
What daily habits or mindset shifts have the biggest long-term impact on personal fulfilment?
One of the most important habits is simply showing up every day. Even when you don’t feel inspired, confident, or certain. Fulfilment is rarely created through dramatic breakthroughs. It is built through small, consistent acts of engagement with your own life.
A powerful mindset shift is moving from control to trust. Many people exhaust themselves trying to manage every outcome, every detail, every future scenario. Over time, this creates anxiety and rigidity. When people learn to release excessive control, trust the process, and believe that not everything needs to be forced, they experience more calm, openness, and perspective. Ironically, life often flows better when we stop micromanaging it.
Another key shift is moving from blame to accountability. Fulfilment grows when people take ownership of how they use their time, respond to challenges, and move forward, even when circumstances are not ideal. This sense of ownership turns people from passive observers of their lives into active participants.
And finally, instead of trying to get life “right” once and forever, allow growth to happen step by step and make “correction shots” whenever you feel you need them.
How do you measure success in your work — and how do you teach clients to redefine success for themselves?
Of course, I am happy when a client gets what they want, e.g., a new job or promotion, but a real measure of success goes much deeper than external outcomes. True success is when they trust themselves more, make clearer decisions, feel more joy and fulfilment, and start living with a sense of inner alignment. Love Your Life is not just a phrase on my logo. It is the standard by which I measure my work.
I help clients redefine success by gently shifting the focus from external validation to internal peace. From chasing goals that were inherited from society, family expectations, or old versions of themselves, to understanding what success means for them at this stage of their lives through reflections, honest questioning, and practical experiments in daily life.
What advice would you give to someone who feels they are “late” in life or have wasted time in the wrong direction?
I would start by gently questioning the idea of being “late.” Late compared to what? Or to whom?
There is no universal timeline for life, growth, or success.
The feeling of being late is often a dysfunctional, limiting belief (as I mentioned above), not a fact. It creates pressure, regret, and paralysis rather than clarity and movement.
I also don’t believe that time is ever truly wasted. Even the most difficult or unpleasant periods of life are experiences. They shape our values, deepen our understanding of ourselves, and often give us the emotional maturity and awareness we need to make different choices later.
People often say, “If only I had known this earlier.” But awareness arrives when we are ready for it, not before. And that awareness is exactly what makes change possible now.
Nothing you’ve lived through disqualifies you from creating a different future. On the contrary, it equips you for it. When people stop judging and blaming their past and start using it as information rather than evidence of failure, they regain energy, confidence, and direction.
You are not late, because it is never late to make a difference.
